Things I’ve learned About God, Pain, and the Holidays

I’ve been trying to write this posts for weeks, but where do you even start? There are so many emotions around the Holidays. A few things that got me through the Holidays while waiting for a little one to join us

1. It’s okay to feel lonely

It’s okay to feel lonely as though you are missing a loved one, because in fact you are. You are missing a piece of your family. You are missing something you want so bad to love on. It’s okay to feel that. It’s okay to feel lonely. 

2. It’s okay to take a break

It’s okay to take some time for yourself. that might be taking a walk by yourself or with your spouse to get away for a little bit. I remember years of Holidays of having baby announcements and new little ones in our family wondering why them and not us? Don’t you know Lord that we want a little one? Don’t you know our family isn’t complete yet? It’s okay to take a little break 
3. It’s okay to feel what you feel. 

We all have our own emotions. I don’t know the emotions you are going through right now, but know it’s okay to feel it. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. 

Above all, remember this. This is so important to remember: we may not know timing and I’m not going to lie- it’s tough; but something I forgot for far too long and something I hope you never forget. YOU ARE LOVED. You are not loved any less because you are going through this. You are a beautiful Child of God, who is loved dearly. 

Kiel’s Adoption Journey take 2

We are excited to announce that we have begun the journey to find baby Kiel #2. We are working with Adoption Associates and so excited and scared to start this journey again. Why now you may ask? We’ve always knew that we wanted more than one child and we want our children to be somewhat close in age. We figured why not?! We never do things the easy way. We are excited to add another child in our family. We are excited to watch Raelynn be a big sister. We have our first homestudy meeting this Tuesday, November 22nd. Since we are in a new state and its been over a year since our first homestudy we do have to do the progress all over again. We also have the training to do with adoption, which is always good. We will have three meetings before we are homestudy approved. We are hoping to be on the waiting list by February/March 2017 and then the waiting begins. The wait can be anywhere from a month to years.. We are limiting our ethnicity to African-American/bi-racial. We find it very important for Raelynn to have someone that looks like her. Sadly, we will never know what it is like to grow up black and we want her and our second child to have an ally that understands.

We are hoping to do a lot better on updating better on this blog of our journey to find baby #2. We thank you for your prayers and support. Contact us with any questions.

Love,

Jay, Steph, & Raelynn

2 Month Update

Two months.. wow two months have passed since we have brought home our baby girl. The past two months have been the best months of our lives. We have loved every moment of parenthood, and I mean every minute, every second. The early morning feedings, the no sleep, the crying or occasion screaming, the poppy diapers and even the spit up all over your clothes. These are the moments that we dreamed of, the moments that we couldn’t wait for, the moments we hoped for, because it all meant one thing- we are parents. Besides, the smiles and those big brown eyes in a 2am feeding makes it all worth it.

Raelynn has really been growing up, too fast. She is growing more into her personality every day and it has been a joy to watch. She is smiling a lot. She focuses on you when you talk to her, and even talking back. She loves to read and kick and punch her arms. She loves music and being sang to, even by Steph who cant carry a tune. She is 10lbs and 22.5in long. We have a feeling she will be a tall girl. She loves tummy time, but uses it to take a nap. She loves to cuddle, and we love it too.

Parenthood is so much more than we dreamed of. So many memories already and it has only been two months. We look forward to the many years ahead and watching our baby girl grow into a beautiful young lady (which hopefully will not happen in a blink of an eye)

1 month update (a little late)

I’m sorry for the delay in this post. It becomes a lot harder to find time to blog with a newborn. We are loving EVERY moment with our baby girl,yes even the no sleeping. She has gotten myself and Jay wrapped around her little fingers, especially daddy. It is amazing how more you fall in love with your spouse watching him be a dad. 

Raelynn has been great. She has been growing like a weed. I keep telling her to slow down, but I don’t think she’s listening. Her one month doctor appointment she was 8 pounds 7 oz and 21 inches long! Everyone is telling me she will be taller than me, which isn’t too hard to beat 🙂 She loves tummy time, her rocker, and cuddling. She is starting to be more alert and we are loving the times she is awake. She loves to tease us with almost smiling. 

Raelynn and myself were able to make it back to MI and she was able to meet her grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncles and great grandparents. It was a quick good trip home. She has now flown three times before she was a month old! 

Sorry for the quick post, I promise I’ll try my best to get better at posting.  

   Raelynn with Aunt Emily and Uncle Jon      Grandpa and grandma Hoffman with their 8 grandkids! 

     Raelynn with Great Grandpa  Raelynn and her godparents    My nieces- minus one   Grandma Hoffman and Raelynn    First walk!    On the airplane to Mi   that face!  Aunt Emily and uncle Jon meeting her for the first time ❤ 

  Cousin Mady & Raelynn   Cousin Nate and Raelynn   One of her newborn photos   Emily and Haylee visting Raelynn 

 Fish lips after her bath 

Our Bundle of Joy

It has been a crazy couple of days, but it all has been totally worth it. We are currently in Houston, Texas with our baby girl and we couldn’t be happier. We are so blessed and I love my little family. Everyone keeps saying how lucky she is to have us, but I think its how lucky we are to have her. God is so good. Today was our first full day with her and it has been good. All she’s done is eat, sleep, and poop and when she is awake looks at us with her beautiful brown eye. I have fallen deeply in love with her and it only has been a day. We are excited for our journey to begin as parents ❤

Being Told Not Us

If you haven’t heard, the meeting last Thursday went great. We felt that we connected very well with the birth parents and we had lots of laughs and conversations. Of course, on our way home from the cities we were over thinking everything and wondering if we should have said that or this, but then we remember that we were ourselves and we did the best we could and that is what matters. We got a call on Friday and the birth parents were taking the weekend to think things through. They loved both families and did not know which one they wanted to continue with. The weekend felt like it was never going to end- usually it doesn’t feel long enough. Monday finally came and every time my phone rang I jumped. Finally towards the end of my work day I checked my email and I then knew the answer… They had chosen the other family. I knew if we were matched we were have been called. I called Jay and he checked his email and sure enough, we were not chosen. I didn’t know how to feel- I felt so torn. I was happy for this baby girl that she was going to be raised in a loving home and for the adoptive parents to be matched. I also rejoice that the birth parents found someone that they wanted to raise their baby girl. It was also tough because I wanted to know what made them choose them over us- was it something we said or did? We won’t know, but we know that God has us on this amazing journey and He has this beautiful baby in His plan that needs us. We just need to keep our head high, keep praying, and trust in the Lord that His Will will be done and continue on this beautiful journey to find out baby.

Fundraising

The most difficult part of adoption is the cost. We are looking at the total cost being around $35,000. Fundraising is something we struggle with doing, but we understand that something this big we are not able to do ourselves. Our goal is to do it all without debt, if able.

A Breakdown of our cost:

• $100 Application Fee (pd)

• $3000 Home Study Fee (pd) (another $900 if not placed within a yr)

• $160 Background Checks (pd)

• $112.50 Adoption Training (pd)

• $200 Profile books (pd)

• $15000-$28,000 Placement Fee

• $2000-$3000est Traveling (Will most likely be in the state our child is born for at least 5-10 business days, before we are able to leave)

• $1200 Post Placement Fee

• $10000-$3000 if want to work with other referral program

• $?? Any unseen or legal fees

What we’ve been doing to save:

• Steph’s extra job goes directly to our adoption (about $100-$140 a month)

• All of our change goes into a bucket

• We have set our budget as if we have a child, helping us save not only for adoption, but also for Steph to be able to take some maternity leave, since it will be all unpaid.

• Half of our refund check went directly into our adoption fund

• We are currently working on applying for grants

Fundraisers So Far:

• Jamberry Nails online sale- Kristi did an awesome job and actually has another party in April that she will be donating part of her commission to our adoption fund- excited to see what we raised!

• Prayer Puzzle- if we sell all 1000 piece we will raise $10,000- https://kiels23.wordpress.com/puzzle-fundraiser/

• Garage Sale- We are working on putting together some details to do a garage sale that all funds will go directly into our adoption fund. We are accepting donations to sell at our sale

If you feel led to donate outside of the puzzle, you may do so by contacting us for our address or securely online @ https://www.youcaring.com/kielsadoptionjourney. We are also currently working on getting a tax-deductible option with a matching grant option.

We also understand that some may not be at a place where they are able to give financially, and we totally understand- Your prayers and support are MORE than enough and we are very grateful for those. Please also feel free to share our blog or facebook page- the more supporters and prayer warriors we have, the better!

Thank you!

Jay & Steph

*Any funds above the cost of our adoption will be saved for future adoptions

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So.. What’s Next

First, I apologize for the lack of update- I honestly don’t know where January went, and in fact where February is. We have been crazy busy, but good crazy busy 🙂

This past Friday we had our last meeting- It still seems so surreal that our home study will be approved within the next week or so.. This process has gone so much quicker than we excepted. So now what?!

While- we are just finishing up our photo books and then will order 15 books.. yes 15.. and will send them to our agency, who will then disperse them to different agencies in the US. We will then be in the waiting process- the process that I (Steph) will be terrible at and am terrified for.. I’m sad to say that I can sometimes be a very impatient person. I also sill get terrified that we will never get picked by expectant parents and that we will be waiting for years before we can finally grow our family. I’m thankful for my husband (I have the best husband) that calms me down and reassure me that everything will work out and the wait will be worth it- whicI know it will be when we hold our first child in our arms (and there will be tears.. lots of tears). We will be sent emails of expectant parents looking at adoption and we will then let our agency know if we would like to be shown to them and then we pray that if we are the right fit that we will be chosen.

During our waiting process we will also be working on a couple more fundraisers and will be applying for as many grants as we are able to. We have been doing lots of research and making a list of ones that we qualify for. Once we get our home study back we will be able to take a day (hopefully) and get those sent in. We are hoping with the grants and our upcoming fundraisers that we will be able to raise close to half of our price.

We want to thank you again for you support and prayers. I don’t think we can thank you guys enough- we have never felt so blessed and supported in our lives and it has made this fun, stressful, exciting adventure easier. Thank you!

Thank you

We are overwhelmed with the support we have gotten so far. Thank you- it means the world to us. We are so excited about the journey we are starting. We will keep you posted as much as possible via our blog or facebook page.

Our favorite reaction when we told our family this past weekend was from Jays Grandpa. We gave him a gift bag with our postcard saying that we are adopting. He pulled it out and said “that’s awesome!” And put it back in the bag. Everyone else was confused what was going on and asked what it was. He pulled it back out and announced “we are eloping!” To be funny. He then stated that we were adopting. He turned the back and said its a girl! We asked why he thought it was a girl and he said “waiting to be sisters” of the picture of the dogs. We all burst out laughing because the dogs were girls.

We are excited that the news is out and thank you to everyone that has been a huge help with the process so far. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions.

Thank you!

Jay and Steph

It has Begun!!

It is crazy how it has seemed like it has taken us forever to get to this point, but now that it has started how quickly it has moved! We sent our application in the mail and within a couple of days got a response back that they would love to work with us! It was the best feeling ever. I was smiling ALL DAY long. It was so hard not to tell every customer- “Guess what- we are adopting” but we both really want to tell our families in person and we know we will be home so soon! I’m so excited to go home to see everyone and to share our wonderful news. We finally have news to share! The past couple of Holiday’s have been hard for me, not going home with wonderful news to share, knowing that another year was going to begin soon and still no news on a baby, but this year will be different! The road isn’t over yet, it has just begun. It is not going to be easy, but a whirlwind, but I am more than excited to begin. I’m  excited that I have the most amazing, comforting, loving, caring husband in the world that is just as excited as I am (if not more). Who one day will be the most amazing daddy in the world- he already breaks my heart every time I see him interact with our goddaughter or kids at church, I can only imagine when it is our baby.

We have already met with our adoption agency and have begun the home study- She shared ideas about us starting our show books and asked million of questions and gave us even MORE paperwork. We have already talked about meeting right after the New Year! I know that we made the right choice with our agency and how much they care for us.

Pretty soon- we will be able to share our wonderful news- and I can’t wait!

Steph